Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
by Freelancer
Summary: Albus and Minerva find a journal belonging to Godric Gryffindor, and by reading it, discover just how the school got its motto...
1. We Need a Motto

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing; it's all J.K. Rowling. Don't sue.  
  
SUMMARY: From the dark, twisted depths of the mind of a Founders fanatic comes… a tale of how the school got the motto! Opens in August of 1971. Albus Dumbledore is moving into his office when he discovers an old journal belonging to Godric Gryffindor, and by reading it, he and our favorite Transfiguration instructor discover one of the greatest stories never told: It's just another hot summer day in medieval Britain when the Hogwarts Four decide they've put off giving the school a motto long enough and think about what could be a good slogan for the greatest wizarding school in the world. Suddenly, a dragon shows up! It looks like the motto is just going to have to wait… or does it?  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just something of an exercise piece to get my mind working while I'm suffering from writer's block. This story is dedicated to Aeryn Alexander, because she wanted to know what 'Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus' meant. ^_^ Enjoy!  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter One - We Need a Motto  
  
~~~  
  
"Albus?"  
  
"Yes, Minerva?"  
  
"Think fast."  
  
Albus Dumbledore, the new headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, looked up just in time to see a set of books hovering above his head. He pointed his wand at the books and slowly guided them down onto his desk. "Thank you, Minerva," he said, smiling at the witch helping him move in to his new office.  
  
Minerva McGonagall, the Potions-Master-turned-Transfiguration-instructor upon Albus's promotion, smiled back at her friend and associate. "Here's the next set," she said, pulling several books out of a large box. "Wingardium Leviosa."  
  
"Slow down, Minerva," Albus said as he placed the books on the bookshelf. "I've still got to organize this set."  
  
Minerva gathered the books out of the air and carried them over to him in her arms. "Here you are," she said, handing him a book. "'Twelve Uses of Dragon's Blood', by Albus Dumbledore and Nicolas Flamel. A wonderful work, I must say."  
  
Albus turned slightly red and took the book from her. "I'm not so sure about that," he said, placing it on the shelf. "Flamel knew what he was talking about, but that Dumbledore fellow was a bit mad."  
  
"The brilliant ones always are," Minerva replied, and they smiled at each other. She reached for the next book on the pile and read off its title and author. "'A History of Transfiguration', by Artino Devlin. I'm going to have to borrow this from you sometime, Albus."  
  
"Be my guest," he said. "Take it now, if you like."  
  
She thanked him and set it aside. "'Properties of Mandrakes', by Vincent Lourdes," she said, handing him the next book.  
  
He took it from her. Their fingers brushed at the handoff, and both of them blushed slightly. "Thank you," Albus said, shelving the book.  
  
"You're welcome," she said, and picked up the next book. She was about to read the title when she saw that it didn't have a title at all. "That's strange," she said.  
  
"What?" Albus asked.  
  
Minerva showed him the book. "No title." The only thing adorning the cover of black leather was the crest of Gryffindor house.  
  
"Open it," he suggested.  
  
She did, and when she saw what was written on the front page, she gasped. The book fell from her hands and fluttered to the floor. "Albus," she said, "it's... it's a journal."  
  
"Whose?" Albus inquired.  
  
Minerva picked up the book, turned it to the first page, and handed it to him. "Godric Gryffindor's."  
  
His eyes grew wide. "How unusual. I never knew there was a journal belonging to Godric Gryffindor in my collection, although I must admit that I own a lot of books that I had all but forgotten about, so it's not completely beyond the realm of possibility. I wonder what it says."  
  
"Let's find out," Minerva suggested.  
  
"All right." They walked over to an armchair toward the center of the room and sat down on the floor in front of it, propping themselves up by their elbows on the seat. Albus cleared his throat and began to read. "August eighteenth, nine sixty-five, started out like any other day, but little did we know that by the end of that day, things would happen at Hogwarts that would bring us closer together and change the way we looked at life. Hogwarts was almost ready to be opened to young wizards and witches in training, but their was still one thing missing: a motto..."  
  
~~~  
  
The summer of 965, aside from being unusually warm, would forever go down in the history of the wizarding world. It was that year that the four most powerful wizards and witches in history met each other and decided to combine their efforts to create a place where the young people of their world could study magic without fear of persecution from the non-magical folk. Just months later, construction began on the giant castle, and on August 17, 965, the final stone was laid and Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was almost ready to be opened. There was only one thing missing - a motto.  
  
August 18, 965 was like most of the other days that summer - hot, humid, and miserable. Four figures, two male and two female, were lounging in one of the castle's small sitting rooms, trying to stay alive in the horrid heat. One of them was standing up against a wall. Another was lying on a couch, half asleep. The third was sitting in a large armchair. The fourth was lying on the floor and staring mindlessly at the ceiling high overhead. Their school needed something that only they could provide, but they, being completely drained of all motivation, had no idea how they were going to give Hogwarts what it needed so desperately.  
  
The wizard sitting in the armchair let out a long sigh and drummed his fingers against the chair's red velvet upholstery. His name was Godric Gryffindor, and he was tall and very handsome, with dark blonde hair and blue eyes that normally sparkled, but had lost their luster temporarily with boredom. "We need a motto," Godric said.  
  
The witch lying on the couch opened one sleepy grey eye and looked at Godric. Her name was Rowena Ravenclaw. Like Godric, she was very attractive for her sex, with a pale complexion, eyes the color of smoke, and hair as black as a the inside of a coffin on a moonless night. She closed her eye, sighed, and opened both eyes. "We need a motto."  
  
Helga Hufflepuff, the pretty, blonde-haired, green-eyed witch lying on the floor blinked once and offered her opinion as well. "We need a motto."  
  
The dark-haired, dark-eyed wizard leaning against the wall, Salazar Slytherin by name, nodded in agreement and said, "Yes, we do need a…" He stopped talking as his mind went blank. "What was it called again?"  
  
"Motto, Salazar," said Helga. "Motto."  
  
"Right," Salazar said. "Motto. We need a motto."  
  
"We've been saying this for the last four months," Rowena grumbled, and rolled over onto her side.  
  
"There's something else we've been saying for the last four months, too," said Godric. "You should get more sleep."  
  
Rowena lifted up her head and glared at him. "I get plenty of sleep."  
  
"Yes, during the day," Godric replied.  
  
Rowena reached for the small pillow underneath her head and threw it at him. He ducked, but her aim was so far off that ducking really wasn't necessary. "See?" said Salazar. "You're so tired that you can't even throw straight."  
  
She turned her annoyed gaze to Salazar. "Shut up, Salazar," she snapped.  
  
"I'm only stating the obvious," Salazar responded.  
  
"Salazar, there's something on your face," Helga commented.  
  
Salazar felt the tickling sensation of tiny feet scurrying across his skin, and let out a shout of surprise. "Spider!" he cried, and slapped his cheek. Something small and dark fell to the floor, and Salazar proceeded to jump on it several times. "I hate spiders!" he said when he felt it was sufficiently squashed.  
  
"So get a basilisk," Godric suggested. "Spiders are terrified of them. They won't come near one."  
  
Salazar's eyes lit up. "Really? Where can I find one?"  
  
Godric looked confused. "I wasn't serious."  
  
Salazar frowned. "Oh."  
  
"Here's an idea for the motto," said Helga. "All Spiders Should be Squashed."  
  
Salazar smiled broadly. "I like it," he said, and nodded.  
  
"I don't," Rowena said. "What kind of a motto is that?"  
  
"A good one," Salazar said.  
  
Helga shook her head. "No, Salazar, she's right; it's pretty stupid."  
  
"Here's an idea," said Rowena. "Salazar Is A Moron!"  
  
Salazar made a face. "Ha ha," he said dryly. "I've got a better idea: Rowena Is Grumpy!"  
  
"How about Godric Will Knock Rowena And Salazar's Heads Together If They Don't Shut Up?" Godric suggested.  
  
Helga laughed, but Rowena and Salazar didn't think it was that funny. "Wake me up when someone thinks of something good," Rowena said, and closed her eyes. Then, she opened them again and said, "Damn it!"  
  
"What?" the three others asked in unison.  
  
"I forgot that I threw the pillow over there," she said, and sat up.  
  
"How's this for a motto?" asked Helga. "Never Throw A Pillow. Of course, we'll have to go through all the trouble of translating that into Latin..."  
  
"Who said mottos have to be in Latin, anyway?" asked Godric.  
  
"Nobody," Salazar answered. "It just sounds good."  
  
"I say we have a motto in a language besides Latin," said Godric.  
  
Rowena snorted. "Like what?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't know... Chinese?"  
  
She let out an irritated sigh and rolled her eyes. "Godric, do you even know any Chinese?"  
  
"Well... no, but-"  
  
"My point exactly."  
  
"Well, it looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning," said Salazar.  
  
Godric shook his head. "No, she didn't," he said. "In order to wake up on the wrong side of bed, one must be in bed in the first place, and as we all know, Rowena doesn't sleep."  
  
Rowena pointed her finger at him and said, "Godric, one more word out of you, and I am going to come over there."  
  
He chuckled. "And do what?"  
  
She opened her mouth, shut it when she realized she didn't have a reply, then stammered, "I... don't know, but... but it'll be bad!"  
  
Godric threw his arms into the air and then let them fall back down on the chair's armrests. "Bring it on, Rowena! Maybe it'll help us think of a decent motto!"  
  
"You two fight like you're married," Helga said, and Salazar snickered.  
  
Both Godric and Rowena turned an interesting shade of red.  
  
"Maybe that should be our... our... what was it called?" Salazar asked.   
  
"Motto, Salazar," said Helga. "Motto."  
  
"Right. Motto," Salazar said. "Godric And Rowena Fight Like They're Married."  
  
"This is serious, you three," said Godric. "We can't have a school without a motto."  
  
"We can," said Rowena, "but it just wouldn't be the same."  
  
"Exactly," said Godric. "So we need a motto."  
  
Silence.  
  
Godric sighed and lifted his eyes to the ceiling. "Any ideas?"  
  
A similar conversation ensued for the next hour. It ended with Rowena saying, "This is pointless! We can't think of anything! We just might as well not have a motto!" No one could make any valid argument to refute her statement.  
  
Rowena sighed and got up off the couch. "I'm going to bed. Wake me up if anyone thinks of a good motto."  
  
"But it's only mid-afternoon," Helga commented as Rowena left the room.  
  
"Let her go," said Godric. "She needs her sleep."  
  
"I heard that, Gryffindor!" Rowena shouted from outside.  
  
Suddenly, a pounding sound echoed through the castle. When the noise faded, Godric, Helga, and Salazar looked at each other. "That wasn't Rowena, was it?" Salazar asked.  
  
Godric shook his head. "No, I don't think so."  
  
Rowena came back into the room. "That wasn't me."  
  
"We deduced that," Helga replied.  
  
The pounding was heard again.  
  
"Then what was it?" Salazar asked.  
  
Godric stood up and withdrew the sword hanging at his waist from its sheath. "Let's find out." 


	2. We Need a Truce

~~~  
  
Chapter Two - We Need a Truce  
  
~~~  
  
Going out into the hall did little to help them as far as finding out where the sounds were coming from was concerned. Every few seconds, they would hear a loud boom, but it seemed as though it was coming from all directions at once. One of the castle's more annoying properties was that sound carried very well, and as a result, it was nearly impossible to determine its source from a random location.  
  
Godric, Helga, Rowena, and Salazar glanced around, but since sound is heard and not seen, that didn't help much. "What should we do?" Godric asked.  
  
"You're the one holding the sword," Rowena said. "You tell us."  
  
Godric took her hand and closed her fingers around the handle of the sword. "Here," he said. "Let's hear the plan, Thou-who-favors-the-cleverest."  
  
Rowena jerked her hand away, then pointed the sword at his throat.  
  
"I take it back," Salazar said, taking the sword from Rowena and handing it to Helga for safekeeping.  
  
"Take what back?" Godric asked.  
  
"Anything I ever said about them getting married someday," Salazar replied. Before Godric or Rowena had a chance to respond, he said, "So, Helga, how about a plan?"  
  
Helga looked at the sword. "Why am I holding this?"  
  
"So Rowena doesn't slice Godric's head off," he answered. "Now, my dear Lady Hufflepuff, would you be so kind as to provide us with a plan?"  
  
"First, we'll seperate these two," Helga said, and stepped between Godric and Rowena.  
  
"An excellent suggestion," Salazar commented.  
  
"Thank you. Secondly, I think it would be a good idea to find out where the sound is coming from."  
  
Rowena rolled her eyes. "That was why we came out into the hall in the first place, Helga."  
  
"I didn't hear you making any suggestions," Helga retorted.  
  
"That's because Salazar grabbed the sword before I could say anything," Rowena snapped.  
  
"In that case, I turn the floor over to you, Rowena," Helga said. She paused, then quickly added, "But not the sword."  
  
Rowena looked crestfallen.  
  
"Here's an idea," said Godric. "Let's split up. Each of us should go a different direction, and we'll search the school and meet back here in a few minutes. Does that sound good?"  
  
"What if it's something dangerous?" Helga asked. "If it is, then none of us should be alone."  
  
Salazar nodded in approval. "Good idea. I'll go with anyone but Rowena."  
  
Godric grabbed Rowena by the wrists before she could attack Salazar. "You can demonstrate your ability to rip off a man's head with your bare hands later, Rowena," he said.  
  
Salazar ducked behind Helga, then peeked over her shoulder and said, "I'm just teasing. You know that, right?"  
  
Rowena yanked her wrists away from Godric, glared at him, then turned her angry gaze to Salazar. "Check your bed before you get in it tonight, Slytherin, because there may just be a big, huge, hairy SPIDER in it!"  
  
Helga let out a fake gasp and brought her hand to her cheek. "Not a spider!" she said, her green eyes wide with feigned shock. "Anything but a helpless little eight-legged creature two hundred times smaller than I am!"  
  
Salazar's brow wrinkled in surprise, and he rotated his head so he was facing her. "That has got the be the meanest thing I've ever heard you say."  
  
Helga's cheeks flushed pink, and she mumbled something about him invading her comfort zone. He realized that his face was just inches from hers and immediately backed away. "Sorry," he said.  
  
"Is that why you don't sleep at night?" Godric asked Rowena. "Are there spiders in your bed?"  
  
Rowena closed her eyes and counted to three. When that didn't work, she took a swing at him. He ducked, and she lost control of both the punch and her balance. She began to fall, but Godric stood upright just in time to catch her. "You have a beautiful left hook, Lady Ravenclaw, but violence is not the answer."  
  
She didn't reply. She just pushed him away from her, folded her arms across her chest, and held her head high.  
  
Godric sighed and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "I love you, too, Rowena."  
  
A long silence followed his statement. A comment from Salazar broke it. "Hey, the pounding stopped."  
  
"Very good, Salazar," Rowena said. "My oh my, aren't we perceptive?"  
  
"You know what?" Helga said quietly. "I think we all need to be nicer to each other. Not just Rowena. All of us."  
  
More silence.  
  
Helga sighed and rolled her eyes. "Or not."  
  
"What happened?" Godric asked. "Between the four of us, I mean. We used to be best friends, and now... well, look at us! Something is here, in our school, and we're standing around here arguing when we should be trying to find out what it is. When did this start, anyway?"  
  
After thinking for a few moments, Helga said, "When we couldn't think of a motto."  
  
"No, I think it started before that," Salazar said. "Remember that day back in April, when I accidentally almost killed Rowena?"  
  
The incident he was referring to took place several months ago. They were transporting stone from rock quarries to build the castle, and Salazar had been moving a particularly heavy stone on top of a small hill with a levitation spell when the amount of dust in the air suddenly made him start coughing, and he lost his concentration. The stone rolled down the hill and almost hit Rowena. Godric had seen it coming in enough time to warn her to jump out of the way.  
  
"That wasn't your fault," Rowena said. "It could have happened to anyone. I think it started when we couldn't think of a name for the school."  
  
Helga smiled at the memory. "That was funny. We spent almost a week fighting about that, and you finally gave up and said, 'Call it Hogwarts, for all I care!'"  
  
All four of them laughed. "I never thought you would take that seriously," Rowena said.  
  
"Now look at us," Godric said. "Smiling, laughing, acting like friends again. I know this isn't the best time or the best place, but we should have done it a long time ago. Let's make a promise to each other, right here, right now, to always be there, to always listen, and to never, ever give up. None of us can do it alone, but together, nothing can stop us." He extended his hand, palm down. "Strength and courage."  
  
"Knowledge is power," Rowena said, and placed her hand on top of his.  
  
"Loyal till the bitter end," said Helga, setting her hand on top of Rowena's.  
  
Salazar placed his hand on top of Helga's and said, "Death before dishonor."  
  
Just then, the loudest boom yet shook the entire castle and nearly caused them to fall over.  
  
"I guess it didn't stop," Salazar said.  
  
"So what should we do?" asked Helga.  
  
Godric and Rowena looked at each other. He smiled at her and nodded. Rowena turned her attention to all of them and spoke. "I think we should go with Godric's original plan of splitting up. We'll cover more ground that way. Helga, you're right about the danger thing, so we'll go in pairs. Salazar, you and Helga go the right. Godric and I will go to the left. The power distribution will be equal that way. We'll meet back here in fifteen minutes." Of the four of them, Salazar was the most powerful, followed by Godric, then Rowena, and then Helga.  
  
"All right, then," said Godric. "Let's do this."  
  
~~~  
  
No more booming noises were heard as the two pairs went their seperate ways, which only puzzled them further. What kind of strange happenings were these? An unexplainable, inconsistent sound, and one that shook the entire castle at that. Rowena thought about what could be causing it as she and Godric walked through the empty, quiet halls. The shaking that accompanied the sound probably meant something was hitting against the walls of the castle, something big. It was just a matter of finding out what, where, and why.  
  
"You know what, Rowena?" Godric suddenly said. "I just thought of something."  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"Helga still has my sword."  
  
"I'm sure she'll take good care of it."  
  
"Oh, no, I'm not worried about it," he said. "I just realized it, that's all."  
  
She nodded. "That's very nice, Godric. Thank you for sharing."  
  
He thought she was being sarcastic, but her voice didn't have a sarcastic tone to it, which gave him an even stronger conviction that she was being sarcastic. He decided not to mention it to avoid getting in another fight with her. "Any ideas as to what this thing might be?"  
  
Rowena shook her head. "Not one."  
  
They soon found themselves just outside the entrance to the Great Hall. "Well, shall we?" Godric asked, motioning toward the door.  
  
She shrugged. "Why not?"  
  
He walked over to the door, opened it a crack, then shut it. When he turned back toward her, Rowena saw that his face bore an expression of surprise on it. "Godric, what is it?" she asked, hurrying over to him.  
  
Godric swallowed and gave her an answer. "A dragon."  
  
"What's it doing?"  
  
He peeked back into the Great Hall again, then closed the door and answered. "Sleeping." 


	3. We Need a Plan

A/N: A HUGE THANKS TO MK FOR POINTING OUT MY ERROR!!!!!! (which has now been fixed) I was spacing... whups. ^_^  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter Three - We Need a Plan  
  
~~~  
  
It wasn't just a dragon. It was a Norwegian Ridgeback, a particuarly foul-tempered breed of dragon that would not be fun to deal with once it woke up. This one was about average size; being approximately thirty feet long and probabably weighing somewhere in the vicinity of a ton. It must have been hitting the walls as it came in, which caused the booming noises. These dragons weren't native to this part of the world, but there was no time to wonder as to how it got there. They could worry about that after they got it out.  
  
"We'll have to get it out somehow," Rowena said as she and Godric jogged through the school in search of Helga and Salazar. "I mean, we can't just leave a dragon in the Great Hall."  
  
"What I want to know is how it got in there in the first place," Godric said. "I didn't know our doorways were that big."  
  
"This is why the castle needs better ventilation," said Rowena. "If our architects had put in more windows and vents, there would be no need to leave the main doors open to let in a little fresh air, and therefore remove the chance of having a passing dragon stop by and take a nap in our Great Hall."  
  
Godric rolled his eyes. "Really, Rowena, how were Salazar and I supposed to know that a dragon was going to land here, enter through our very large, impressive main doors, go into the Great Hall, and fall asleep? Not even you could have seen that one coming."  
  
Rowena paused, then said, "All right, you've got me on that one, but that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing."  
  
"Whatever you say."  
  
They continued to make their way through the school, quickly catching up to Helga and Salazar, who were looking behind tapestries and suits of armor in the hallway where the Charms classroom was located. Rowena rolled her eyes when she saw them. "And just what are you hoping to accomplish by doing that?"  
  
Helga shrugged.  
  
Godric decided to intervene before it got ugly. "It doesn't really matter what they were doing, because we found the source of the noise," he said.  
  
Salazar and Helga looked impressed. "You did?" Salazar asked. "What is it?"  
  
Godric and Rowena looked at each other. A pleading look slowly started to spread across his face. Rowena snorted and folded her arms across her chest. "Don't get cute with me, Gryffindor," she said. "You brought it up. You can tell them what got past your brilliant architecture."  
  
Salazar arched an eyebrow. "What?"  
  
"Thrsmdrmguminthmmm," Godric mumbled.  
  
It was Salazar and Helga's turn to look at each other. They did, then turned their eyes to Godric and chorused, "What?"  
  
"Articulate," Rowena said, and gently jabbed Godric in the chest with her elbow.  
  
Theresadraguminthgrhll," Godric said.  
  
"Articulate!" Rowena repeated, and jabbed him again, a little harder that time.  
  
"Ouch," he said, and rubbed his rib cage.  
  
"Sorry," she said, and gently ran her knuckles over the region she had struck.  
  
Godric was mildly surprised, and it showed. It wasn't often that she touched him without the intent of inflicting pain.  
  
"Hey, lovebirds, what did you find?" Salazar asked.  
  
"There's a dragon in the Great Hall," Godric said, quickly, but slow enough so that they could hear what he was saying.  
  
Salazar's mouth dropped open, as did Helga's. "There... there's a dragon in the Great Hall?" Salazar asked.  
  
"How did it get in?" Helga asked.  
  
"Through the doors," was Rowena's response. "How else?"  
  
"It could have Apparated," Salazar said thoughtfully.  
  
"Dragons don't Apparate, you boob," said Rowena. "Honestly, Salazar, what's with you today?"  
  
He shrugged. "It's probably the heat."  
  
"What are we going to do about the dragon?" Helga asked.  
  
"Get rid of it, of course," said Rowena. "Do I have to make all the decisions around here?"  
  
"Well, you do, anyway," said Salazar.  
  
Godric shot him a look of warning. Helga held on to Rowena to prevent her from moving into attack position.  
  
Salazar got the hint. "Not that that's bad, of course," he quickly said. "After all, you are the smart one." That wasn't a lie; out of all of them, she had the best ratio of good ideas to not-so-good ideas.  
  
Rowena softened a little bit. "Very well." She thought for a minute, then said, "Right, then, here's what we're going to do..."  
  
~~~  
  
"Now, let me make sure I've got this straight," Salazar said as he and Godric walked toward the Great Hall. "We're going to wake it up, get your parrot to fly around and distract it, and then stun it?"  
  
Godric looked somewhat offended, and so did the large bird with red and gold plumage sitting on his shoulder. "Fawkes isn't a parrot, he's a phoenix."  
  
"Whatever," Salazar said dismissively. "I just don't understand why we're waking it up in the first place if we're just going to put it to sleep again."  
  
"But we AREN'T putting it to sleep again!" Godric argued. "We're stunning it. There's a big difference. That way, it won't wake up again until we're ready."  
  
"Then why don't we just stun it while it's asleep?"  
  
"Because... because it'll take a while to knock it unconscious, and it will be very angry if it's woken up by a Stunning Charm."  
  
Salazar sighed and pulled out his wand. "I think it's going to be angry anyway, but if you say so..."  
  
"This is Rowena's plan, not mine."  
  
"Maybe, but it's your parrot."  
  
"Phoenix."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
They reached the Great Hall, where the dragon was sleeping as soundly as ever. Fawkes hopped off Godric's shoulder and started flying around the room. Godric pulled out his own wand and looked at Salazar. "Helga still has my sword," he remembered. "Blast it all, I was going to get that back when we caught up with you..."  
  
"What are Helga and Rowena doing, anyway?" Salazar asked.  
  
"Making a Shrinking Potion."  
  
"I don't think a Shrinking Potion is so difficult a task that it would require the abilities of the two most powerful witches in the world."  
  
Godric pointed his wand at the dragon and said, "A Shrinking Potion to make a Norwegian Ridgeback the size of a cat is no easy feat."  
  
Salazar decided that he had a point with that one, and turned his attention to the dragon. "So, then..."  
  
"My thoughts exactly," said Godric.  
  
For almost a full minute, they stared at the dragon, wondering what they could do to wake it up. Finally, Salazar walked over to it and poked the end of its tail with his wand. "Hey, dragon," he said, "wake up."  
  
"That doesn't seem to be very effective, Salazar," Godric said as he joined his friend next to the sleeping dragon.  
  
"Well, it's a start," Salazar replied with more than a hint of irritation to his voice. "I don't see you coming up with anything." He looked up at Fawkes. "You could always tell your parrot to crow, I suppose."  
  
"Parrots don't crow; that's roosters, and besides, he's a phoenix," Godric said. "How many times to I have to tell you that?"  
  
Salazar apologized for his bad memory and looked at the dragon again. "Know any charms?"  
  
Godric blinked and shot him a surprised look. "I wrote the Charms textbook, remember?"  
  
"I mean, charms that would prove useful in this situation."  
  
"Oh." He, too, looked at the dragon again. "No, not really."  
  
Salazar mumbled something Godric didn't catch.  
  
"What was that?" Godric asked.  
  
"One would think," Salazar repeated, a little louder and with more articulation, "that of all the charms in the world, there would be one that prove effective in waking a sleeping dragon."  
  
Godric folded his arms across his chest, cocked his head to the side, and said, "Yes, one would think that. Oh, there must be one somewhere..."  
  
He started pacing back and forth, mumbling the names of various charms to himself. Salazar watched him for a few minutes, then grew bored and looked around the room for some inspiration. He spotted a beetle on the floor, transfigured it into a rock, and then threw it at the dragon. It bounced off the giant reptile's tough, armor-like skin, and the dragon didn't so much as stir. Salazar sighed and looked at Fawkes. "Well, parrot?"  
  
"Phoenix!" Godric corrected, then went back to talking to himself.  
  
Salazar slapped himself on the forehead.  
  
"I've got it!" Godric suddenly cried. He stopped pacing and pointed his wand at the dragon. "RICTUSEMPRA!"  
  
"Oh, no," Salazar said, feeling the dread rise from the pit of his stomach. "Not a Tickling Charm. Anything but a Tickling Charm..."  
  
Godric cringed. "Too late." 


	4. We Need a Better Plan

A/N: Sorry this took so long.  I promise to try to have the next chapter out faster.  Until then… hold your breath.  ^_^

Chapter Four - We Need a Better Plan

            The spell hit the dragon.  Its eyes flew open, and it let out an angry roar.  Then, it rolled over onto its back, uttering a series of softer roars that could only be called laughter.  Flames spurted from its mouth and nostrils, and its sharp claws and long tail narrowly missed hitting them as it rolled back and forth.  Godric and Salazar could see only one option: retreat.

            "Good job, Godric," Salazar said when he, Godric, and Fawkes were safely outside the Great Hall.  "It was bad enough when it was just a sleeping dragon.  Now there's a ticklish dragon in there, and it's going to be furious once that charm wears off!"

            "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time," said Godric.

            The dragon roared.  Apparently, the charm had worn off already.

            Salazar glanced over his shoulder and said, "What do you propose we do now?"

            Godric shrugged.  "Go find Rowena and Helga and tell them what happened?"

            "Gryffindor, has it ever occurred to you that the right thing might not always be the best thing?"

            Godric blinked.  "What?"

            Salazar groaned.  "Never mind."

            Fawkes chirped.

            "Come again?" Godric asked.

            Fawkes produced a chirp identical to the one before.

            Godric spent a few minutes processing the information, then said, "You know, that's a good idea.  I think we'll do that."

            Salazar looked at him.  "You speak parrot?" he asked.

            "Phoenix," Godric corrected.

            "My apologies; phoenix, of course.  Anyway, you speak phoenix?"

            "Some.  I'm not fluent, though."

            "That's interesting.  I never knew you could speak phoenix."

            "Well, you can speak snake," said Godric.  "That's pretty interesting, too."

            "Parseltongue," Salazar said, pleased at being the one to make a correction this time.

            "Excuse me, Parseltongue," said Godric.  "Now then... uh, where were we?"

            The dragon roared again and slammed itself against the door of the Great Hall.  The entire castle shook with the force of the impact, and Godric and Salazar fell to the floor.  The only reason the door remained attached to the wall was because it was charmed.

            "So, what was your parrot's idea?" Salazar asked, getting to his feet.

            "My parrot didn't have an idea," said Godric.  "My phoenix, however, suggested that we should skip trying to Stun the dragon and go right to the shrinking part."

            "That's the phoenix's brilliant idea?" said Salazar.

            "Parrot – I mean, d'oh, now you've got me doing it!"

            Salazar thought for a minute, then said, "But that would require telling Rowena and Helga that we failed to stun the dragon."

            "True, but they might forgive us."  Godric shrugged.  "Someday."

            "Well, Helga, maybe, but I wouldn't get your hopes up about Rowena."

            Godric looked at Salazar out of the corner of his eye and said, "What do you have against her, anyway?"

            "Nothing," Salazar replied.  "I'm _teasing _you, Godric.  Teasing you because I find it so ironic that you fancy her."

            "I do _not fancy Rowena," Godric said firmly.  "I don't even __like her."_

            Salazar chuckled.  "I know you better than that, Gryffindor.  It was love at first fight."

            "You're being ridiculous."

            Another roar and crash shook the castle.

            "We'll continue this later," said Salazar.  "Right now, we've got to do something about that dragon."

            "I'll get Rowena and Helga," Godric offered.

            "Don't bother.  They're right here."

            Sure enough, right after Salazar's words left his mouth, Rowena and Helga came around the corner.  Rowena was holding a cauldron, and Helga had Godric's sword.  "What's going on?" Rowena asked.  "Haven't you stunned the dragon?"

            "No," said Godric, "but we _did wake it up!"_

            "Are we supposed to be proud of you for that?"

            "You can if you want," said Salazar.

            Rowena glared at him and lifted up her cauldron.  "Give me three good reasons why I should save this for the dragon instead of throwing it at you, Salazar."

            "How about I give you one and get back to you on the other two?" he replied.  "We've got a plan, and it involves the use of that potion."

            "We have a plan?" Godric whispered.

            "I'm making this up as I go along," Salazar whispered back.  "Don't quote me on that."  His voice returned to its normal volume.  "Our friend the dragon was, unfortunately, the victim of a Tickling Charm, and consequently, he is not too happy."

            "A _Tickling Charm?" Rowena repeated.  "Of all the foolish, thoughtless… couldn't you think of __any other way to wake it up?"_

            Godric shook his head.  "No."

            "I should have guessed that brilliant idea would have been _yours_," Rowena snapped.  "Didn't anyone ever tell you to never tickle a sleeping dragon?"

            "Never tickle a sleeping dragon…" Helga repeated thoughtfully.  Then, she gasped and snapped her fingers.  "That's it!  Never tickle a sleeping dragon!  Wouldn't that make a great motto?"

            "Latin," Salazar said, mostly to himself, then began pacing back and forth while tapping his forehead.  "Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin, Latin… DRACO DORMIENS NUNQUAM TITILLANDUS!"

            "Well, I guess that takes care of the motto," said Godric.

            "Yes," said Rowena, "but we have yet to take care of the dragon."

            "Oh, yes, the dragon…"

            Rowena looked at Salazar.  "What were you saying about a plan?"

            "Oh, yes, a plan!" said Salazar.  "Well, just now, a little parrot – phoenix – swooped down and told me-"

            "A little phoenix swooped down and told you?" Rowena asked incredulously.

            "Well, actually, the not-so-little phoenix swooped down and told _Godric_, who then proceeded to tell me, that perhaps we should go right to shrinking the dragon instead of attempting to stun it."

            Helga and Rowena looked at each other.  Helga shrugged and said, "Why not?  It's the only plan we've got."

            Another bang and crash shook the castle.

            "Mind if I liberate this?" Salazar asked, reaching for Rowena's cauldron.

            "Actually, I _do mind," Rowena answered, stepping away.  "I don't trust you."_

            Salazar grinned at her.  "Nor should you, but you really have no choice, now do you?"

            Rowena glared at him for a few moments, then surrendered the cauldron.

            "Thank you," Salazar said.  "Now, then, let's get in there and throw this on the dragon."

            "How do we open the doors without letting it out?" Helga asked.

            Her question was never answered.  The charm could hold on no longer: the doors burst open, and the huge dragon let out a ferocious roar.  Fire shot out from its mouth, and they had to drop to the floor to avoid being hit.  "Oh, no!" Salazar exclaimed.

            "What?" Helga asked.

            "The Shrinking Potion!" he said.

            Salazar accidentally dropped the cauldron when they fell, and its contents had spilled out over a rug on the floor, which was now the size of grasshopper and getting smaller.

            "Look out!" Rowena shrieked.

            The four of them rolled to the sides just before the dragon's foot came crashing down on the spot where they had just been; Godric and Rowena to the left, and Helga and Salazar to the right.  "What do we do?" Helga cried.

            "Run!" Godric shouted back, scrambling to his feet.  "Regroup in the dungeons!  Helga, my sword!"

            Helga tossed Godric his sword and started to get to her feet, but her sudden movement had caught the dragon's attention.  A jet of fire came streaming from its mouth at her, but she managed to jump aside just in time.  She landed on the floor near the top of the staircase.  The momentum from her leap caused her to roll, and she tumbled down the staircase like a boulder rolling down the side of a mountain.  She finally reached the bottom and did not move.

            Rowena gasped.  "Oh no…"

            The dragon roared again.  Godric raised his sword into attack position.  "You two, get down there!" he said.  "I'll take care of the dragon!"

            "Not alone, you're not!" Rowena said, pulling out her wand.  She glanced at Salazar.  "Go!"

            Salazar did not protest and Apparated to the base of the stairs in hopes of reviving the unconscious Helga.

            "You don't have to do this, Rowena," Godric said.

            "Neither do you," she replied.

            He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.  "You've got a plan, don't you?"

            "Of course."  She pointed her wand at the dragon and shouted, "CONJUNCTIVITUS!!!"

            Her spell hit the dragon in the eyes.  It roared in surprise and lifted its head up, banging it against the ceiling.  It was still for a few seconds, then closed its eyes and slumped to the floor, unconscious.

            "Wow, Rowena," Godric said, sheathing his sword.  "You did it."

            She sighed and put her wand away.  "Well, I did _something."_

            "Now what?" he asked.

            "Now we have to get it out of here."

            "How are we supposed to do that?"

            Rowena shrugged.  "Good question."

            "Could we make another shrinking potion?" he asked.

            She shook her head.  "No; we're out of wormwood."

            "That's not good."

            "No, it's not."

            "Godric!  Rowena!" Salazar shouted frantically from the base of the staircase.  "She's not breathing!"


End file.
